Naked breasts vs. severed heads, Round 2

A previous post I wrote on Sythbane Squadron called "Naked Breasts, Severed Heads and Video Games" reached a wider audience today. A shortened version of it called "A Game of Double Standards" appeared in the newspaper, in the Sunday Commentary section of today's Birmingham News and on al.com.

The essay was shortened for space and toned down a little, but the theme is intact. It is expresses my dismay at how retailers have no problem with selling movies laden with brutal violence and torture, and despite their shrill condemnation of video games that depict nudity as indecent, nobody cares that they show a grotesque decapitated head on a DVD cover at kid's-eye level on the shelf. Even though such horrific violence in movies is routine, nudity and sensuality in video games are almost completely banned, even for games that are sold only to adults.

The condescending censorship applied to video games outrages me as an adult consumer. Why are video games with content analogous to R-rated movies banned? Nobody should be able to tell me that I can't buy a video game that includes some grown-up content. I can readily purchase an R-rated movie, but content that would give a movie an "R" would earn the "Adults Only" rating for a game -- which means it would be banned from the major game consoles, and it would be banned by major retailers.

More than the censorship issue, it appalls me that our society deems a naked human body more obscene than a butchered one.

Game Hard

"Walk Hard" is a movie that speaks to me, mumbling like Elvis, leaving me confused and laughing until my stomach hurts.

To see what I'm talking about, read a few lines from Dewey Cox's song "Royal Jelly," and I know it will touch you the way it touched me:

Mailboxes drip like lampposts in the twisted birth canal of the coliseum
Rim job fairy teapots mask the temper tantrum
O' say can you see 'em
Stuffed cabbage is the darling of the Laundromat
'N the sorority mascot sat with the lumberjack
Pressing passing stinging half synthetic fabrication of his-- Time
The mouse with the overbite explained how the rabbits were ensnared
'N the skinny scanty sylph trashed the apothecary diplomat
Inside the three-eyed monkey within inches of his toaster oven life
-- Dewey Cox, "Royal Jelly"

Three-eyed monkey indeed, Dewey. Three-eyed monkey, indeed!

Darth Talon art worth framing

The new "Legacy of the Force" Star Wars Miniatures series is out now. I have only three boxes so far, and the characters are cool, especially the red-armored Imperial Knights.

The box art is incredible. The painting of Darth Talon that graces one box is worth framing as an art print. Now I'm going to be looking for a print! In the meantime, I'm going to use some of these box covers as backgrounds for shadow boxes to display my collection. The other two boxes feature Boba Fett and Luke Skywalker.

I buy all my Miniatures from Double Header Sports Cards in Gardendale, Alabama. It's a mom-and-pop shop, and my friend Greg keeps all the latest Star Wars stuff well stocked. Go buy some Star Wars stuff from them and tell them Sythbane sent you!

Jackasses hurt gaming's bottom line

My theory that being a jackass in online gaming is a bad thing is bolstered today by a new article on Gamasutra by a game developer. Bill Fulton, who worked on Shadowrun, asserts in his essay, "Fixing Online Gaming Idiocy: A Psychological Approach," that online jerks are hurting the game industry by driving new customers away.

Research shows, he says, that new players would rather not play at all than subject themselves to all the verbal abuse. Fulton advocates engineering game features to create a social environment that discourages jerkism.

Not long ago I wrote about "Gamers at their worst," where I vented my outrage at the rampant use of the "N-word" in online games. It's encouraging to see that game companies have a financial incentive to build games in such a way to discourage awful behavior.

The bottom line is the only reason companies ever do anything. If they can make more money by creating a social environment online where it's uncool to spew racist, homophobic and generally crass babble, then more power to them.

I am frustrated, though, that withdrawing from a game early is classified as jerkish behavior. Many games penalize you for leaving early, and Xbox Live gamers can "avoid" you for it. I've been subjected to people leaving the game for no apparent reason, which can be annoying, but there are MANY legitimate reasons for leaving a game. The phone rings and it's an important call. The dog has to go out. Your wife needs help with the groceries. Or, you might want to check out of a game because the room is full of jerks spouting the N-word. You leave, because you're sick of hearing it, and then some jerk labels you a quitter.

What's the answer to that dilemma? Looks like some social engineering is in order, Mr. Fulton.

See my Rainbow Six Vegas 2 review

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2 has the best customization features of any game I know of, including role-playing games.

That's one highlight of my newly posted review of the game, which you can read on al.com's Techcetera blog.

I must thank several of my online friends for unknowingly contributing to my review during the course of talking or playing with me: Fortiscule, Fartknockker, TheJoeyMo, StylishFever, Daddy Rocks LV and the cryptically named IC3W01Fcp666 (Ice Wolf). I hope you'll all recognize your particular contribution.

Don't miss the cool stuff about the Barrett M-468 on the second page of the review. It was interesting to me, so I thought you fellows might find it interesting as well.

Army of Two story is good, but ...

Army of Two has a really good story, but the arcade-shooting gameplay doesn't measure up to the other shooters out there now in Call of Duty 4 and Rainbow Six Vegas 2.

That's the gist of it, but please read my full review of Army of Two here. See if you agree or disagree, and leave comments!

Thanks again to valiant Fortiscule and the stalwart Fartknockker for playing co-op missions with me on Army of Two.

Despite shortcomings in the gameplay, who can resist liking the characters in Army of Two? They sure would make great G.I. Joes. Hasbro and EA should make a deal to make 12-inch action figures of Salem and Rios, since Hasbro is bringing back the 12-inch Joes this fall.

Speaking of G.I. Joes, one of my new compatriots in the Alabama Star Wars Syndicate found a picture of Ray Park (Darth Maul) in his new role as Snake Eyes.

If only Activision would get the video game license and get Infinity Ward to build a G.I. Joe video game on the COD4 chassis. How cool would that be?

I'll be writing my review of Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2 this week, so stay tuned.

Rainbow Six Alabama

A high-five to Fortiscule and my friend Fartknockker!

Fortiscule and I played the first two-thirds or so of Rainbow Six Vegas 2 together in split-screen co-op, and then last night Fartknockker and I finished up the campaign together in online co-op.

Fortiscule and I are back online, by the way, thanks to Mrs. Sythbane's generosity. As Fartknockker said, "That's my kind of wife."