A Sunday drive with Crownshend

My bother, jRy6, and my cousin Crownshend and I have developed a lively rivalry in Forza 2 on Xbox Live. My brother and I both honed our driving game skills on the PS2's Gran Turismo, but Crownshend got a late start with the genre.

Crownshend has progressed rapidly, but as he's learned to drive with a thumbstick, he's been prone to plunge off the track. Often finding himself hopelessly behind, he developed a desperate tactic to entertain himself: He'd turn around and drive to meet the race leader for a head-on surprise.

Needless to say, this was quite alarming the first few times it happened. It does, however, add an interesting element of strategy to the game. If Crownshend gets quiet for a while or disappears from the track radar, you have to start looking ahead for him. It really keeps you on your toes.

Here's a slideshow of a typical encounter with Crownshend:



I turned the tables on him at least once, at Sebring. He had fallen behind and was in missile mode. Running second, I ran off the track in a curve and found myself way behind jRy6, too. Crownshend was running third and trying to catch up to a target. I came to one of those right-angle turns at the end of a long straight-away. I turned the corner and stopped at the end of the straightaway, perpendicular to his path. I was a perfect T-bone target -- irresistible Crownshend bait.

My patience paid off. He saw me lingering in the turn, and he floored it, aiming for my driver's door. At the last moment, I eased on the gas and stepped out of his path like a matador side-stepping a charging bull, and he rammed the wall in a glorious crash of profanity and sheet metal.

Crownshend is young with fast reflexes, and he's a quick study. He's becoming a better driver, often running even with us and sometimes winning, so his desperation moves are becoming infrequent. But he still sneaks a track missile at us once in a while.

He got us again Sunday night before the Xbox Live maintenance outage shut us down. jRy6 was drafting me, trying to find a spot to pass. I saw Crownshend ahead, bearing down on me at ramming speed.

At the last instant, I jinked left to dodge the incoming kamikaze Crownshend. jRy6, on my bumper, didn't see it coming and -- at the same instant -- pulled right to pass me. I missed Crownshend by perhaps a coat of paint, but jRy6 took the impact full in the face. I heard the crash in my right surround-sound speaker, and jRy6 expressed his surprise with some impromptu longshoremen's ballad as Crownshend laughed like a crazy person.

They were still spinning as I crossed the finish line and won the race!

Well played, Crownshend. Well played.

Rock of all ages

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together and let's give a big Sythbane Squadron welcome to the new supergroup, ASGARD! (yeeeah.)

Here's my full review of Rock Band 2 on al.com.

I've been dismayed that a joke reference that I sprinkled through my review is perhaps unknown to recent generations of gamers. My friend Kenneth pointed out how long ago "This is Spinal Tap" came out, and it perturbed me. So, to educate those who missed out on this comic masterpiece, here is one of my favorite scenes from the movie, "This one goes to 11 ..."

Rocking out

I've posted a preliminary "first impressions" review of Rock Band 2 on al.com's Techcetera blog. I'm not quite through with a full review yet, but I wanted to get something out there since it hit this week!

And thanks, as always, to my buddy Fartknockker for his keen insight and comments!

Behold, the Dark Side

Here's my review of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, posted on the Techcetera blog on al.com. Be sure to read the funny captions!

Hail Flying Monkey Joe! The Mighty Thor is read!

He did it! My good friend Flying Monkey Joe (that's his code name) has returned from DragonCon with the prize of his quest on my behalf. It is Thor issue #199. As a bonus, he also brought back #201 and an issue from the same era that has both Thor and Conan in it. Who knows what sweaty horrors he endured in Atlanta to retrieve such treasures? I shudder to contemplate it.

He has proved himself to be a mighty comic hunter indeed, and an extraordinary simian soarer! Thanks, Flying Monkey Joe!

I will savor my new/old comic books and report back here on the impressions I have upon reading them.

Thor #199 and me

Godspeed, Flying Monkey Joe.

My good friend Flying Monkey Joe (that's his code name -- d'ya hear that, ya hayseeds?) is going to DragonCon in Atlanta this weekend. He has his own reasons for going into that great weekend dungeon of geekdom, but he also goes with a quest for me: To seek the Odin-son.
Specifically, to find an original Thor comic, issue #199.

That was my comic book when I was a kid.

My parents were not backward, and they provided plenty of books for my sister and me to read, but somehow comic books got classified as candy or toys instead of literature. I almost never got to read comic books unless I was visiting a friend and got into his stash.

I did manage to claim ownership of at least one comic book, though, and that was Thor #199. If I had any other comic books of my own, I don't remember them, because they fade to oblivion in my memory in the light of Thor's might.

I still remember panels and images from the story. Pluto, in his form-fitting armor, wielding a double-bladed battle ax, his edicts called the ravings of "the mind of a god gone mad." Thor, looming above the battlefield, his red cape billowing about his shoulders as he answers Pluto's challenge: "The God of Thunder dares."

I never knew the context of the story, because I had read none of the other issues as the complex plot unfolded, but it didn't matter. He was a hero who sparked my imagination. A god with the voice of rumbling thunder who stood up against Madness.

I commissioned my grandmother to make me a red flannel cape, and I found a little tack hammer in the junk drawer to serve as mighty Mjolnir. One side of my godly weapon was magnetized to hold tacks, so you wouldn't smash your fingers hammering the tiny brads.

More recently, I've been following the newly relaunched Thor comic, buying each new issue at Double Header sports cards in Gardendale. I also bought Thor Vol. 1, the graphic-novel size compilation of the first several issues of the refurbished story, which captures some of
the brooding power of the old Thor that I remember.

The Thor who forged me in the fires of geekdom still lives.

Same old Clone and dance

I've recently written reviews on SoulCalibur IV and Too Human. If Too Human is as bad as some reviewers say it is, why can't I quit playing it? I completed the campaign in one weekend, and immediately started a second campaign, and I'm still going. My "champion" class Baldur is up to level 40 now.

Likewise, I'm dismayed by the negative reviews on "The Clone Wars." Perverse contrariness of the fanboy generation is making a lot of people think it's cool to hate George Lucas now, and for what? Making up stories for us to enjoy? (What? "The Clone Wars" wasn't as good as "The Empire Strikes Back"?! We hate him, then! Scorn him! Diss him! Freeze him in carbonite!) ... Come on, all you George haters, lighten up. He's a genius at telling stories with pictures and music, and he's given us a wonderful place for our imaginations to visit. Hating on George Lucas is like hating on Santa Claus, as far as I'm concerned.

"The Clone Wars" is a fun film, reminiscent of the 1930s Saturday morning action serials that helped to inspire "Star Wars" in the first place. It's a computer-animated cartoon. It's clearly not in the same league with one of the films of the main saga, and it's equally obvious that it wasn't meant to be. I took my 13-year-old son and one of his friends to see it, and we all enjoyed it. The vertical battle on the cliff face was a pure "Star Wars" thrill moment, as the transport walker climbed like a big beetle while Ahsoka stands on the front and bats away blaster bolts to defend it. It made us cheer.

It's also interesting to compare Anakin's first attempt at being a mentor, teaching young Ahsoka to be a Jedi, and compare that with the darker, more mature storyline in the forthcoming game The Force Unleashed, as "dark father" Darth Vader takes a Sith apprentice. The parallel of the two stories -- one light, one dark -- is bound to be deliberate.

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My apologies to both of my readers for allowing Sythbane Squadron to sit idle for too long. Lately I've felt like Max, the dog in "The Grinch that Stole Christmas," when the sled gets ahead of him and he's running along and being dragged behind it.