Dio, can you hear me?

Fortiscule is ready to be the next guitar hero with the ultimate controller, courtesy of Santa: a real Fender Stratocaster HSS in "midnight wine." As soon as he gets some lessons under his belt, he'll be well on his way to becoming a jukebox hero (with stars in his eyes).

Santa also brought him Guitar Hero III, but both Fortiscule and Santa were dismayed to discover that the Rock Band "Stratocaster" controller that we already have doesn't work with GH3. How stupid is that?

Merry Christmas to everybody from Sythbane Squadron!

A poignant moment in COD4

Every now and then, a video game brushes up against reality with the emotion it stirs. One of those rare moments occurred this morning while I was practicing my banjo and Fortiscule was playing a campaign mission in Call of Duty 4.

Fortiscule was playing the mission in which Marine Sgt. Paul Jackson is helping to rescue the downed Cobra pilot. As he fought his way to her, I played "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot," because it seemed appropriate for a rescue. As he carried her aboard the helicopter and they began to fly away, the scene shifted, and we all know what was coming.

I started playing "Amazing Grace" in a very gentle, sotto voice in a slow 4-4 time. As the nuke detonated and swept away all the life before it. I kept playing, and the song began to seem very poignant as Jackson staggered out of the crashed helicopter and looked around at the devastation in his last moments. As his vision faded to white light, it felt awfully sad, and Fortiscule and I were very quiet.

The images and music together evoked a feeling like the solemn sadness I feel when I see a picture such as the one above. Here are some real Marines, honoring a fallen comrade in Iraq. I found the picture at the Third Army site, which says the photo was taken by Marine Sgt. Jason L. Jensen in Barwanah, Iraq, on Oct. 25, 2006. I certainly don't mean to trivialize this dignified event by comparing it to a video game. The game did provide a reminder, though, of who the real heroes are who answer the call of duty.

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Bumbling with buttons

On a lighter note, last night I played several rounds of Halo 3 multiplayer with Batsak. It was the first time I've played Halo in more than a month, because I've mostly played Call of Duty 4 in recent weeks.



Consequently, my Halo man provided some slapstick comedy for Batsak's amusement as I was doing melee attacks when I tried to aim, reloading when I tried to throw grenades, throwing grenades when I tried to kneel, and zooming my scope when I tried to melee attack.

I starting remembering the Halo controls after a few rounds -- my controls are set to "Boxer" configuration because I have such a hard time making timely melee attacks in Halo. But overall, it was a sad night for the Sythbane Squadron in the Halo multiplayer madness.

And here's a mighty Sythbane Squadron Sun Crow Clan salute to Batsak for doing well on his exams!

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Recent reviews

If you're interested, my official reviews of Mass Effect, Call of Duty 4 , and the video game gift guide compiled by some other Sythbane Squadron members and me are now published on al.com's Techcetera. Please leave comments if you visit, so my bosses will think somebody on the planet reads my reviews!

My thanks to Fartknockker for his recent generous comments about my blog and reviews. Fartknockker is a good comrade and worthy adversary in COD4 and Rainbow Six Vegas, and a member of the no-frags cadre that plays with Big Daddy Ogre. Sythbane Squadron salutes you, noble Ogrerrati.

Hod Rod is funniest movie of 2007

All great men have mustaches, and Hot Rod is the funniest movie of this year.

It brought back for me the death defying stunts of elementary school, jumping my bicycle off a 4-inch-tall wooden ramp. I was going for distance, not height. It was pretty darned impressive.

Ray Park will be Snake Eyes!

Ray Park, who energized "Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace" as Darth Maul, and made a frog-guy cool as Toad in the X-Men films, has been cast as Snake Eyes in the new live-action G.I. Joe movie. I saw the news on G4's "Attack of the Show," and now it's all over the Net.

This is fantastic news! What a cool choice. Ray Park's martial arts skill, athletic ability and physical grace will make him a superb Snake Eyes. Mark Wahlberg is supposed to be Duke, which is also excellent casting.

I hope the movie will be a realistic, gritty take on the whole G.I. Joe story, to the extent that they can make it realistic since it's based on a toy line and kids will be watching. I supposed by "gritty," I actually mean "not campy." An example of what I mean is in "Transformers," another movie ostensibly for kids (and their dads). The soldiers in "Transformers," while not the main characters, are depicted very well as real people who are also brave, determined and professional soldiers. They react intelligently to the incredible situations they face and are never silly or stupid. Let's hope G.I. Joe takes the same approach to storytelling, so the movie will appeal to be kids and adults.

In today's world, the G.I. Joe characters could take on a whole new dimension: They represent the courageous men and women who are, at this moment, putting their lives on the line in Iraq and Afghanistan. The G.I. Joe characters should be idealized versions of these real heroes. For the G.I. Joe characters to even catch our attention against the backdrop of real soldiers' exploits in the news every day, they'll have to really be spectacular -- both believable and heroic. If the characters are too cartoony, the movie will just be a joke that even kids will dismiss.

The flip side of the coin, and perhaps the greater challenge to the filmmakers, will be to make Cobra Commander and his henchmen into believable, scary villains. How can an evil genius bent on world domination and his mercenary henchmen even hold a candle to the bonfire of hatred cast by today's terrorists and religious fanatics, who torture and murder their own neighbors in the name of God? Cobra Commander will have to step it up to be that awful and evil.

Hasbro hasn't produced any of the cool 12-inch G.I. Joe toys like the Snake Eyes pictured above for a long time now. I expect the forthcoming movie means they'll blitz us with a mighty wave of merchandising, which is good news to me as a collector.

Ray Park already has been immortalized as a toy in a multitude of scales and poses as Darth Maul. Pictured below are Darth Maul and Fortiscule, when Fortiscule defended our home from a Sith attack.



Who else do you think would make a good character for G.I. Joe? Post your ideas for casting in the comments field below!

Wasting time in strange new worlds

I have been remiss in posting about gaming because I have been gaming. Seriously gaming. The kind of Serious Gaming where I keep staying up until 5 a.m., several nights in a row.

As I've been playing Mass Effect, I've been inhabiting new worlds, exploring them, meeting characters and getting to know them, seeing through the eyes of a character myself ...

And as I've played, it's struck me that it's like I'm reading a novel. When I read "The Lord of the Rings," I was doing the same things: Exploring a new world, meeting characters, and seeing through their eyes.

How many of us who enjoy video games have heard other people dismiss our hobby as a waste of time?

But how is engaging your mind with a game you enjoy different from spending the same amount of time passively watching a football game or baseball game? Is it wasted time? Is any time you spend doing something just because you enjoy it the same as wasting the time?

What about the time spent watching TV or movies? Why do so many people who think nothing of spending passive hours enjoying television dismiss video games? I enjoy TV, too, but TV is passive. I can't go to sleep playing a video game, because it wakes up my brain.

Mass Effect elevates the whole "wasted time" debate to a new level of challenge. Many of the people who sniff at video games would never dismiss reading a great book as a waste of time. What they fail to understand is that Mass Effect is like reading a good book.

What Mass Effect makes ever clearer is that video games are an emerging art form. Like movies, they are a multimedia form of storytelling. You aren't just witnessing the story. You are in the story. You live it. Instead of witnessing a character make choices and have experiences that teach him lessons and shape his life, you enact those experiences yourself. You live through those life-altering events, and maybe you learn something, if the game makers have spent much thought on the story.

Was "Beowulf," written sometime around the 900s, considered a waste of time by many during its day? Or was it considered a new art form? What about novels, as a dawning form of literature? What did people think about them? Movies made the transition from technological curiosity to art form in only a few decades in the early 20th century.

Rather than being a pinnacle in gamemaking, Mass Effect suggests the great promise of video games. It makes clear the potential of video games as a medium for storytelling. In future years, in literature classes, will there be a mention of Mass Effect in the evolution of video games as they ascended to respectability? When will the J.R.R. Tolkien of video games emerge with a masterpiece?

In the lifetime of my great grandparents, airplanes went from the Wright brother's dune-hopping powered kite to the technological marvels that fly at Mach 5, and to the rockets that carried men to the moon. Video games consisted of Pong when I was kid, and look at them now. And yet we're still in the barnstorming biplane days of video games.

I look forward to when video games transcend the stigma of "time-wasters" and children's toys and come to be regarded like movies. Sure, there are popcorn movies that just blow up good. Most video games do that, and that has its place. But there are also movies that compel you to think, that move you emotionally or that paint a picture of some truth in life. Games need to become respected as a place for grown-up storytelling. Like movies, games must have a venue for children's fare and a place for mature drama, with cursing and violence and nudity and love and sex and God and compassion and death all being parts of the story, because those are the things that life is about.

But right now, Mass Effect is like a sail on the horizon for what games will become.

Tonight, as I step again onto the Normandy's deck, I'm hoping to make the beautiful blue asari Liara fall in love with me. I had to make a choice between Ashley and Liara, and I chose Liara. I'm eager to find out if I made the right choice.

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My reviews of Ace Combat, COD4 and Conan

My official reviews of Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation, Call of Duty 4: Modern Combat and Conan are all posted on the Techcetera blog on al.com now. Take a look at the links and let me know what you think.

Duty calls, and we answer

The invasion of Call of Duty 4 has decimated my gaming time. All other games have fallen back before its unstoppable onslaught. I have lost sleep this week, staying up to ungodly hours trying to get a few more kills for weapon upgrades.

I've added the ACOG scope to my M16 and red dot sight to my M4, ranking up so far to gunnery sergeant in multiplayer. Fortiscule, as usual, is showing up his old man in kill streaks, but I'm the cunning one.

All of us who enjoy shooters will want this game. I've seen the crowd I played Rainbow Six with shift to Halo 3, and now the tide has shifted powerfully to COD4.

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It pleases Crom ...


I have traveled through time.

In the future, I fought as an armored Spartan, fighting alongside my new friend Batsak against Covenant monsters.

Then I traveled the distant past, the age of the sword. I rescued the maidens you see here from pain and death. I slew the giant squid and began the final assault on the dark tower.

Next I arrived in the present day.

I flew among the clouds at Mach 2, firing missiles to chase enemy fighters and raining death on tanks and howitzers.

Now I shoulder an M16 and fight for freedom.

Soon, I will leap forward into the future and face a threat such as the galaxy has never seen.

I am spastic in time, like the hero of "Slaughterhouse Five." Can you guess what the five are in this story?

... Conan, Halo 3, Ace Combat 6, Call of Duty 4 and Mass Effect.

See you on the battlefield.

Sending dogs to Crom

Prepare to meet Crom, dog. It is I, Conan, the Cimmerian. Crom sits in his mountain thirsting for blood, and I shall send him yours!

I have rescued many maidens, which gives me great joy. They are very beautiful.

Right now, I'm stuck trying to kill this demon elephant. May his tusks need root canals!

Let me get done with this stupid elephant, Crom, and I'll get right back on that blood thing for you. Sit tight.

... There. I did it, you big elephant ... dog ... demon thing. Report to Crom to be laughed at when you flunk the Riddle of Steel.

And I burned down the misbegotten ships, too, so Crom can play boats in his Mighty Bathtub of Steel beneath his Mountain. Meanwhile, I will enjoy the company of these fine wenches I found chained to the docks!

Who's laughing now? Crom is!

Dog.

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Rally to my banner

I finally figured out what my Halo 3 emblem should be.

I've tried several things. I first used a skull in a cowboy hat, but it just looked ridiculous. I've used a Spartan helmet for a long time because I like "300" so much, but it just didn't seem original.

Then I came up with this abstract image to represent what inspires me. The banner of the Bosom Brigade is very nice and I still like it, but I was concerned that it might not play well in mixed company. I reserve the right to come back to this one, though.

Today I remembered what would be perfect.

It resembles an original family crest that I created many years ago. I painted an emblem very much like this on hats for my dad, my brother and me. It's a crow silhouetted against the sun. Black and yellow are nature's danger signal: bees, poison tree frogs, etc. That's why we respond to that color scheme and they use it for highway danger signs. Danger, danger danger, as Steve Irwin used to say. And a bird in flight in a bright sky is always a glorious thing to see.

I hope that my brother and my cousins will join me in adopting this noble Sun Crow emblem. We'll be a perilous posse indeed!